Like a few million other people, I had registered for the lottery to attend the Michael Jackson Memorial Service. After watching it in it’s entirety twice on T.V., I am so emotionally drained, I can’t imagine actually being there

It was a beautiful, emotional and touching tribute, leaving you with a whole new appreciation for who Michael Jackson really was. We have always known him as the King of Pop, an icon bigger than life…with or without personal issues and controversy. This memorial reminded us he was so much more. He was a humanitarian, a friend, mentor, uncle, brother, son. He was a daddy.

These are just a few of the moments that highlighted the event…




This obviously was the most heart-wrenching, as Michael’s
11 year old daughter Paris puts things into perspective.

Hands down, this is the best reality show I have seen. Not for the entertainment value, not because it follows Intervention, another favorite and not because it’s really good. It’s the reality of the show, the
r-e-a-l-ity.

Obsessed chronicles the struggles of everyday people imprisoned by unmanageable, repetitive behaviors and sometimes debilitating fear. Whether it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.) or other anxiety disorders, this shows gives viewers a chance to see first-hand how an obsession can radically affect a person’s life and the effects their disorders have on their friends and family. Each episode follows two individual cases, their struggle and the process of rehabilitation, following them through treatment with cognitive-behavior therapy.

I have lived with O.C.D. for the past 8 years, a majority of those years it has consumed my every waking hour. It affects approximately 3.3 million people in the U.S., 2% being adults, 0.3 to 1% kids. It’s a disease that is rarely talked about, rarely understood and unknown to many. A relatively new show, I have yet to get through an episode without a meltdown. As hard as it is for me to watch, there is a glimmer of hope as well as a true sense of comfort knowing I’m not alone. I can’t thank A&E enough for addressing this disorder and bringing a new understanding to such a debilitating condition. Obsessed can be seen Monday nights on A&E at 10/9C

I‘m in denial about a few things, age being one of them. Recently, I was smacked in the face butt with reality. I need glasses. This isn’t a revelation I have just had, just one I’ve ignored…until now.

I have nothing against glasses, in fact both my kids have worn them since grade school. My mom and sister wear them, I have had just always prided myself with the fact I have had amazing eyesight. It’s pretty much my mom’s fault for reminding me that “one day when [I get] old, I too will be blind as a bat.” That day has come.

The reality became obvious on a recent evening walk. I love my walks, they are a time for me to clear my head and do some (are you ready for this one?) deep thinking. I guess you can say I often get caught up in my own little world on these journeys.

The other night I encountered an unexpected sprinkle, cutting my  deep-thinking, clear-headed time short. I rushed back to my apartment, taking a quick glance at the apartment number, (if you know me well enough, you could probably figure out why) and proceeded to open the door. It was locked…well it wasn’t locked when I left. Maybe my boyfriend came home and locked it, so I knock. Nothing. I knock again…louder, “Hello, it’s me open the door!” Again, nothing. I take a 2nd glace at the apartment number, uh-oh, not mine. (1 out of 2 numbers isn’t that bad is it?)

Oblivious to my surroundings, I now notice a neighbor had come out to see what the loud mouth knocking was all about. All I could do was walk away. Trying to look calm and collective as if I hadn’t just made the biggest ass out of myself, I turn around and give him a weak smile. He did not smile back, his glare however made it clear he was not taking his eyes off of me until I was long gone. The next thing I knew, I was picking myself butt up off the ground. How did I not see those 3 steps I have walked up and down for the past year? A glutton for punishment, I do another quick look back. Yes, he is still watching me, was he smiling? Probably, but how would I know…I can’t see that far!!!

Ha Ha mom, you were right.
I will be hauling my bruised butt (and ego) in for a new set of glasses…A.S.A.P.

Sadly, my O.C.D. has peaked, it has not been this bad in almost 2 years. I am devastated, sad, embarrassed and drained. Oddly, I also feel a deep sense of comfort.

In 1994 we adopted 6 week old Rex from the pound. He was playful, feisty, stubborn and ornery. He was never a lap cat and any affection was done on his time. After I was diagnosed with O.C.D. in 2001 Rex’s demeanor changed, he was now the most compassionate animal I had ever encountered. Sensing when it was going to be a challenging day for me, he remained by my side as long as needed, “protecting” me. If he was not next to me when I woke up, 3 pats to my chest with my hand would bring him to me….without fail. August 20th, 2007, after a brief illness we had to put Rex to sleep.  I miss him terribly, he had become so much more than a pet to me. His intuitiveness, loyalty and compassion simply amazed me. I am a firm believer animals are a great source of therapy and support, they’re love is unconditional.

A few months ago we took in an abandon cat, Oliver. He can only be described as a curious, mischievous, busy body who will “talk” to anyone willing to listen. Like Rex, he is not a lap cat and only occasionally will he even sit still long enough to let you pet him. He is like a 2 year old child and I often wonder what we got ourselves in to. His behavior lately has been odd. He will occasionally walk around aimlessly meowing but always stays within close proximity to me, he will then wrap his paws around my leg and bite it. He will do this over and over until he has my complete attention. I have woke up the last 5 mornings to this little busy body snuggled up to me, his head laid on my chest and his big green eyes watching over me.
When I finally realized what was causing his “odd” behavior, it gave me the chills. Oliver had taken on the role of “protecting” me.  Each and every time he bit me, I had been stuck in a O.C.D. cycle. My most challenging days have been those that I awoke to find him by my side.

Again, I am amazed at their loyalty, compassion and the ability to sense when something is wrong. As hard as this is…and as silly as this may sound, it gives me comfort. He is my little Guardian Angel.

…to share my lip biting, hard to keep secret, really good, even great news!!

I am beyond happy…

As of today, my oldest son, Rocky, has been given a clean bill of health,
he is CANCER FREE!!

Happy Mother’s Day to me….
Read more here

Ever been so busy doing nothing that you don’t have time for anything? It seems like that’s how life has been lately. Why does that happen and where does time go?

My oldest was out from Arizona last weekend visiting. Both of my son’s are wine enthusiast’s, so Saturday we took a few hours and went wine tasting. We were joined by my future daughter-in-law, my mom and some good friends. I meant to take lots of pictures, but, apparently I spent more time “tasting” and visiting than snapping! My son wont be visiting us anymore….because he is moving back home to California in two weeks!! It has been in the works for a bit but as of yesterday, it’s official. I am beyond ecstatic. You know this means my grand-doggers, Daisee and Lilee will be spoiled rotten…even more! I have even more exciting news but I’m biting my lip for a few more days, it’s not easy. Curious? Check back cause it is good! (really good) (great even!)

I have been doing really good managing my O.C.D. It is a daily battle, but I pluck battle away. It feels good to have the upper hand and be able to keep things under control. (yea me!) I have to, once again thank everyone for their encouragement, love and support. (yea you!)

Guess who’s a Twitterer now? Me! MySpace, Facebook, now Twitter…and I wonder where my time goes! Here I thought I was the only non-Twitterer left in cyberspace, little did I know. Very few of my friends Twit, or even know what Twitting is, so it gets a bit lonely out there. Do you Twitter? Hee-hee

Don’t forget to check back soon for my lip biting, hard to keep secret, really good, even great news!!

It is depressing and graphic but it’s probably one of the
most powerful safety ads out there. Hopefully effective too.
Though difficult to watch, it’s reality!