I need to vent.
First, a quick update on the nests I posted a few weeks ago. Sadly, the Hummingbirds didn’t survive. One baby hatched but did not seem to thrive, the second egg remained intact. The assumption is, mama knew there were problems and finally abandon the nest. R.I.P. little Hummers! On a happier note, here are pictures of The Dove Family which appear to have two nestlings. Cute or what??

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So on to my rant.
These past few weeks have been the most trying times I have had in a long time, 79.6 weeks to be exact. Each and every day has been a struggle and I am hoping the light at the end of the tunnel comes sooner, rather than later. I am equipped with a lot more coping skills this time, but the disease seems to be getting the best of me at this point. If you know me well or have followed my site for period of time, you are aware I have O.C.D. This linked post explains….

“Seven years ago, after experiencing a traumatic event I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.) I had a type, similar to what they refer to as Trichotillomania, a form of hair pulling. Long story short, I would spend an average of 5 to 12 hours a day pulling my hair out, eventually leaving me completely bald. As fast as those babies grew back in, I would yank them right back out. There was nothing anyone could do or say that would justify my stopping. The urge or ‘impulse’ has often been described as a hiccup in your brain, or a brain lock, preventing your brain from shifting gears. Wigs (later dubbed “the helmets”) and scarves did a great job of covering the physical effects, but the emotional and psychological damage it caused was often more than I could bear. This not only impacted my life, affecting my ability to function in the outside world….it unfortunately took a toll on everyone around me……After six years, with the support of my loved ones by my side, many hours of therapy, medications, a lot of sweat, tears, prayers and determination. I (toot-toot) have reached a personal milestone. As of October 5th, 2008 it has been one year since I have tugged, pulled or mutilated my hair in any way!!!”

I have relapsed.
My heart is breaking. I have already begun the cycle of pulling/damaging/cutting. Luckily it wasn’t too bad this time and I managed to keep most of my hair.

I have increased my meds. and am doing a lot of sleeping I will continue to fight this demon. I would appreciate any thoughts and prayers to help me get through this!

More prayers needed….
My Aunt Bobbie was admitted in to I.C.U. this week with pneumonia and other health related issues. Not only is she probably the best aunt in the world, she has been through a lot and is a very strong woman. They are thinking she will be in a regular room within the next few days!….love you Aunt Bobbie, I will see you soon!
Family friends that we have known for close to 40 years had a horrible accident in their family this week. Five family members, ages 1 to 25 were traveling to Boise, Idaho and were in an accident causing their vehicle to flip 3 times. As lucky as they are to all be alive, they were hurt pretty bad. The oldest was left with a broken back, one of her babies has a fractured skull.
My heart goes out to you all!

Better late than never…right? My intentions were good!!

Alright, it’s been awhile but lets not get our panties all up in a bundle. Consistency has always been my forte…but there’s worse things in life, right? No one’s looking, adjust those little fellas and let us move forward!
I had a bit of a setback this week, but this too shall pass. *sigh*I got my car back Saturday, the smog dude came through! It’s so purty again… Insurance Registration/Tags Dents/Scratches fixed Happy Camper
Issues resolved with DMV, aw hell no! But it’s a good start eh?
My son asked me if I puppy/house sit in June while he and the future Mrs go to Washington. He lives in Phoenix and I’ve made that drive close to 1 million times, I really don’t mind it and was kind of leaning that way vs flying. After the deal his fiance’ got last week, I may just change my mind! $24.50 one way, I kid you not. It may have been a one time deal, but definitely worth checking out! She flew out of Ontario, California, and was to arrive in Phoenix around 10ish, their departure had been delayed due to heavy winds in Phoenix. My son calls me from the airport,
“Mom, they say the plane is on time and will be land soon, back in Ontario.”
“Check again,”
“I did”
I told him I would call the airlines and see what was going on, “Mama will get to the bottom of this!”
I was told, the plane was about 9 minutes out of Phoenix and everything was fine…for some reason their system hadn’t been updated yet. Just as I hang up, my son calls,
I joked, “She there yet?” knowing she would be in 8.5 minutes
“No…”
I chimed in with the good news, “They should be landing in Phoenix as planned…”
“Mom! I just got of the phone with them too, they said the plane was approaching Ontario, they turned around.” Now I’m sensing we’re both going into a bit of a panic mode. “How can they not know where her plane is?”
I knew everything was fine, but he did have a good point!! “I’ll call the airlines again, Mama will get to the bottom of this!” I explained the situation again, the lady said, “Well, lets not get our panties all up in a bundle, let me check for you.” The plane was indeed landing back in Ontario. They had circled around Phoenix waiting for the winds to let up, but ended up having to come back to refuel. I called my son back who by then, had been in touch with his fiance’. He said she was doing fine, they were getting gas and once they had a thumbs up would be en-route again! She eventually arrived safe and sound!! Two trips to Phoenix in one night = $49.00! Freakin’ unbelievable!!!

Not to be the big complainer but….this So. Calif weather really has my turtle confused, she is still in hibernation. When it’s warm for a few days, I can hear her start rustling around. But when it goes from 80 to rain in o.1 days, it really messes with a reptiles head. I think I am going to play Mother Nature and see if I can encourage her to wake up when it warms up again. You can only store up so much food for so long. I would know!!!
I really need to get some flowers planted. I love gardening but have yet to establish one since we’ve lived here. I have developed quite the green thumb over the years you know!I did go through a couple little houseplants I have….dusted the leaves, fluffed the moss, etc…Guess what I found? Dead leaves in one, and a dead flower in another. I guess I’m losing my touch, they’re silk!! This beaut bloomed a week or so ago, it’s real…
(again…click on image for full view)

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I climbed in bed Thursday night with a huge sense of relief. Although I’m still working at getting the whole D.M.V./insurance fiasco straightened out, I had crossed enough T’s, dotted enough i’s, faxed enough paper work and payed enough $$ to finally re-insure my car. Well…that would have been to easy, and easy would just ruin this streak of bad luck.
My insurance agent (who, by the way is an Angel as far as I’m concerned) submitted the final paper work and without skipping a beat, all hell broke lose. DENIED!! Problems, again! Of course, this too can be fixed…in 4-6 weeks. I cried. Like a baby, I cried. My Angel told me not to give up yet, she encouraged me to make a few more calls, and she would do the same. Long story short, by Friday afternoon my car was once again fully insured. I must say, I have never experienced such above and beyond customer service. Thanks Angel!
My youngest son ran me around to get some last minute paper work done. We decided at the last minute to go by his dad and step-moms house so I could see the new hummingbird nest and eggs in their yard. Because we were in a rush when we left, I had no make-up on, my hair was up in a clip and I had clothes on that my son said weren’t “too bad.” To top that off, my eyes are broke out in Eczema again! When we pulled up I was kind of hoping no one would be home and I wouldn’t  be seen. Of course, not only were they there, they had their 2 young grandsons visiting. They introduced me to the little guys, explaining I was Rocky and Ryan’s mom. The youngest one, looking confused looked at me for a minute, then turned to them and said, “you mean their grandma!” Note to self: Never leave home again in a rush!!! LOL!
Other than pictures, I had never seen a hummingbird nest up close before. Picture a shot glass with a few Tic-Tac’s in it. So amazing!!!! There was also a dove’s nest, they are almost flat with just a rim around the edges. Seeing this whole process just tickles me pink!!
While I was there, I couldn’t leave without taking a few pictures. They have put a lot of time and money into their property, creating a Backyard Wildlife Habitat. It’s absolutely beautiful and I could spend hours there! (I am sure they will be thrilled to hear that! LOL) I left (finally) with a bag of freshly picked lemons, grapefruits and my new favorite fruit, kumquats! I do hope to go back for a few pictures once the eggs hatch….sans the grandma look.      (pics are click-able for a larger view)

Insurance- Fair
Headaches- Unlimited
Fruit- Free
Things kids will say- Priceless
(p.s. I’m out of kumquats!!)

You can fool some of the people all of the time
and all of the people some of the time,
but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

~Abraham Lincoln

We have all had that first love, a memory that is forever etched in our hearts. A name, smell, sight or thought can easily arouse those memories. We dream, if only for a moment of returning to that magical time, a time of innocence and simplicity. As time passes the inevitable happens. For the first time in what seems like forever, we are now face to face with the one who stole our heart, our first love.
This happened to me recently, it was the second time in the last few years. My first encounter, about 7 years ago was less than memorable. At one glance, my cat did a complete back flip before retreating to a “safe place” for the following 3 hours. She trembled in fear, hissing at the slightest sound or movement. I honestly thought I had killed her! Knowing animals have a keen sense, I start to question my own judgment, was it really love or simply infatuation? People and things change drastically over the years, but how much, hadn’t really crossed my mind until I came across a picture taken from long ago.
Meet my first love, A.K.A. Sweetie Pie. At this point, I feel I need to not only explain my little love but myself as well. Yes, this is me. Yes, I am a girl. Almost each and every picture of me, pre-sixth grade shows me sporting the oh-so-dreaded-pixie. Did my mom secretly wish her second child was a boy? I think so. She will be the first to defend herself, “Honey, it was hard being a single parent and working full-time.” She would go on to explain, “I hardly had time to mess with hair. You looked so cute, you were always dressed girly…” Mom, no offense but 40+ years later, I am still feeling the need to reiterate the fact I am a female. Just 1 bow ma, it could have spared me years of explanation! Sweetie Pie was my constant companion, confidant and friend for many years. Sweetie Pie was, my first love. (not counting Jeff Poindexter, who I met around the same time) He not only accepted my oh-so-dreaded-pixie, he embraced me for who I was. We climbed trees together, bathed together and he even allowed me to give him the oh-so-dreaded pixie haircut. Perhaps Sweetie Pie was once female, it’s hard to say. As the wardrobes that my grandma and aunts made over the years evolved, Sweetie Pie’s gender did as well.
With my cat out of harms reach, I reminisce. So many happy memories, I wipe a tear or two. With a little inspection, it has now become quite obvious that not all memories are so happy. Not for Sweetie Pie anyways. With most of his hair gone now, his white skin a muted dirt color, not only have the years worn on my little guy, but he is sporting some serious signs of trauma! I wipe a tear or two.
What happened to his once black, felt feet? The brown corduroy ones that now replace them came with great love. I remember….Sweetie Pie lost his feet many times in my efforts to rescue him from a tree. Eventually, grandma had to fully replace them. She knew how much I loved him. This was her third and final try. The first attempt left my beloved friend with 2 feet facing the wrong direction, the second, with 1 foot facing the wrong direction. (Bless her heart, she hoped I wouldn’t notice)
I shutter as I see his head. A botched decapitation attempt? You bet, I remember… Jealous as they all were, my cousins and sister would tease me. Their fits of jealousy often ended in a tug-a-war, at Sweetie Pie’s expense. Not only did they wish they had such a friend, they were probably jealous of the selfless hours my grandma spent reattaching his head. The stitches up the back were a must, if I had stitches, Sweetie Pie did too.
As I re-examine the little guy, one thing is clear. As tattered and disheveled as he is, his smile still melts my heart. I couldn’t imagine growing up without him. I tried to pass him down to each of my son’s when they were toddlers, unfortunately they responded much like my cat did…minus the hissing. Until next time, I carefully pack him away knowing that my first love will always be within reach.
I can’t help but hope though, that the years have been kinder to Jeff Poindexter.

Awww shi geez. I had written a post about the week I had but I got so worked up, rambling, even I couldn’t understand it! I’ll just give you a short version… Basically, I was stating the theory, “when it rains, it pours” is not a theory, it’s a fact. As I mentioned in this post, I cancelled my car insurance due to a huge rate increase.
• While inquiring for insurance else where, I found out there was an accident on my driving record I was not involved in- hence the rate increase! (raining…)
• I find a company that will insure me and as long as I sign a wavier, they will not count the accident in my premium.
• I’m a idiot.
• I had waited until the last minute to renew my registration. No registration = no insurance.
• I get a ride to the DMV and pay the fees only to find out my car needs to be smogged. No smog = no registration. (raining…)
• I drive my irresponsible, law-breaking self carefully to the smog dude.
• My car passed the smog test.
• The smog dude gets hit as he backs my car out of the garage.
• I have a wrecked car. (raining…)
• I get my tags and registration.
• I find out the DMV was to blame for the error on my driving record.
• I am told, I have to prove I was not in the accident before my record is fixed.
• Nobody can tell me what kind of proof is acceptable. But I need something.
• I find out my former insurance co. has a claim for car vandalism listed.
• My car was not vandalized, there was never a claim made. (pouring…)
• I sort through my mail that night and come across this Geico Insurance ad.
• I question myself. Coincidence? Car-Ma? The jingle hasn’t left my head since.
I am now working on coming up with evidence to clean up the DMV’s mistake. Then I will hop on over to my old insurance co. and deal with the incorrect vandalism claim. Somewhere in between, I will take my car in for the needed repairs from the smog dude’s accident.
There are many ways you could look at this. My version is the best. a) If the DMV would have never screwed up, my insurance rates would not have increased. b) If my insurance would have never screwed up, my rates would not have increased. c) I would not have cancelled my insurance. d) None of the rest would have ever happened.

Go mbeannai Dia duit
(May God Bless You)