Due to some spinning and wobbling the Earth has been doing in the last 5,000 years or so, the axis has changed which means our stars are no longer aligned. The truth of the matter is, we’re about, oh, a whole constellation off. For Ophiuchus, astrology’s orphan, this is good news as he she it will no longer be left out. If your birthday falls between November 29th to December 17th, Ophiuchus is your new zodiac sign. (gazuntite!)

Once a Libra…I am now a Virgo. I don’t want to be a Virgo. What am I going to do with my Libra keychain, or my Libra pajamas? Am I still most compatible with Aquarius, Gemini and other Libras? Am I still good with Scorpio, Sagittarius, Leo and Virgos? Do I still have a 50/50 shot with a Pisces or a Taurus? And should I still stay clear of Capricorns, Aries and Cancers? What do I do if I meet a Ophiuchus? IDK? IDK!

Moving Earth Sale:
Beautiful LIBRA keychain and
Gently worn LIBRA pajamas
Inquire within…

..(Virgo)

I got this via email. Ya…I thought it was funny until I realized it was right around the corner for me.
Kinda. Not so funny now.

With the rise of social media, more and more senior citizens are texting and tweeting. Here is a guide to some of the codes they use in communicating with peers:

DWI: Driving While Incontinent
ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

YGAIWKF: You gotta admit it was kinda funny!

Seriously, next year…I say that every year but this time I totally mean it. Next year I am going to reacquaint myself with the Christmas spirit. I am going to deck the halls, jingle my bells…I’m even going to…get a Christmas tree. I love everything about Christmas, the baking, the shopping, decorating, having family together, the smells, the sights, peace, love & joy, etc… Lately? Not so much. I remember standing in a line when I was a kid, I’m not sure where it was, but I remember I was so happy to be there I could barely contain myself. Then I saw her, the lady behind us. As soon as I smiled at her she gave me the meanest look ever and made me cry, ruined my whole day. Bitch! That’s kinda how I’ve been these past few years, a party pooper, sucking the joy out of the air. I’ve even secretly wished Frosty would melt. I know.

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Note the picture of the Christmas tree. Not mine. I have to borrow someone else’s tree to take pictures of, because it would just be too Christmas spirity to have one of my own! On a side note, that really is my mom in the other picture. (I didn’t borrow her!) (just sayin’) Also note, for someone who would rather be sucking joy out of the air, I do look pretty flippin joyful don’t I? Well there was a lot of great food. I did get some amazing gifts. And then…

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OMG! I wasn’t even that good this year and I got everything on my Christmas list…including grand babies? I was so feeling that Christmas spirit now! For maybe like a millisecond. Whadda you mean they aren’t mine? Someone was sucking the joy out of my air now! I finally compromised with my cousin, he could have his babies back and I could go to his house and hold them anytime I want. Supervised. I’ll get those grand babies, someday. Right boys?

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Yeah, they’re pretty much the most amazing son’s in the world. They love me, they spoil me, they inspire me. We had an amazing day, the one thing that would have made it better would have been if my future daughter in law was there with us. We missed her but someone’s gotta put some O.T. in to pay for all these presents she’s an R.N. and unfortunately people get sick even on Christmas. She’ll be there with us next year though, she has to… remember? I am going to reacquaint myself with the Christmas spirit. I am going to deck the halls, jingle my bells…I’m even going to…get a Christmas tree!

…sometimes you just feel everything and nothing at all at once… sometimes you’ll find yourself smiling while missing something at the same time. at times you can absolutely love a person, all the while wanting to hate them. life comes without guarantees…except that smiling will brighten your face…laughing will enhance your eyes…and falling in love will change your life…