I was going to pop on here and just share a few creative Halloween recipes I found, but you know that’s not going to happen. I got a little sad looking at all the festive goodies and now I need to vent. Vent first, then the fun stuff.
I totally miss Trick or Treating.
I’m not going to lie.
If I thought I could get away with it this year, I’d be sporting a $19.95 K-Mart Special costume with pillowcase in hand (king size) and hitting up every damn house within a square mile of me. Actually, I’m not sure what part of Halloween appeals to me more, a) the candy b) showing up to school or a party in the best flipping costume (obviously we all know if I’m getting a K-Mart Blue Light Special this year, the priority is candy) there.
I’m not going to lie.
Sometimes these were hand-me-down costumes my sister had worn the year prior, nevertheless they were probably my idea to begin with. Who would not want to dress as a “Fig” handing out Fig Newtons whilst singing, “It’s rich and chewy gooey on the inside, golden flakey cakey on the outside….it’s the big Fig Newton, here comes the tricky part, it’s the big Fig Newton, ok one more time, it’s the…” Ingenious. Right? Another year I rocked “Big Bird”
I’m not going to lie.
I was actually a chicken, but a few everybody thought I was Big Bird so we’ll  just go with that. Personally, I have never known Big Bird to wear big puffy yellow bloomers, yellow tights, yellow shower cap, short beak and strategically placed feathers, walking around bocking. But that’s just me…just saying. Elly May Clampett (this is the real Elly) was another big hit for me. Don’t act like you are to young to know who she was! She was the animal loving, chimp toting daughter on “The Beverly Hillbillies”  Well, I love animals AND we do have a lot of the same characteristics, I was a dead ringer! Nice, I also came across this picture of what she looks like now. This brings us to (RELAX! I’m almost done. Remember. I’m. Venting.) the year of “Pixie Lake” a.k.a. the hooker.
I’m not going to lie.
It scared me that I had so much fun putting that get-up together. It scared me that I had the clothes to put that get-up together. Pixie was a short lived character, her “Trick or Treat” ideals were not acceptable.. Last but not least was Mary. Much to my surprise, I pretty much owned Halloween that year. “you are so creative…” “oh my gosh, I would have never thought…” “honey, come here, you’ve gotta see this…” “brilliant idea…” I know…even I was shocked.
I’m not going to lie.
As much as I’d like to take credit for being the master of all disguises, carefully planning  each and every detail, I literally had an hour to figure out a costume. That’s not even enough time to go get a K-Mart Blue Light Special. I think Mary might have even been my favorite….there was just something about her.
I’m done venting, but I’m not going to lie
I totally miss Trick or Treating.

Look all all these creative goodies!!!!

Candy Corn Pudding Butterscotch pudding on the bottom, vanilla (dyed with yellow food coloring) in the middle, whipped topping on top. (you can make this kid friendly by using clear plastic tumblers.) Paper Jewels

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Apple Bites Just quarter and core an apple, cut a wedge from the skin side of each quarter, then press slivered almonds in place for teeth.
Family Fun

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Melon Brain Remove the green rind from a small seedless watermelon exposing the inner white rind. Carve narrow channels with a sharp paring knife to expose the pink fruit beneath the rind.
Family Fun

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Breadstick Mummy Dogs Made with Pillsbury Breadstick dough and hot dogs. Using mustard or ketchup for the eye. Visit Picky Palate for detailed directions!

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Adam’s Scary Apples Make red and black candy apples, finish them off with spooky twigs instead of sticks. Matt from mattbites.com will walk you through this process step by step

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Wormy Ice Cubes All you need are gummy worms or other creepy crawler candy, ice cube trays and fruit punch. Stick ‘em in a drink! (*note- I am making these with or without kids…maybe even year round)
Food Network

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Creepy Crawly Brownie Bite Spiders Cut fresh baked brownies, roll into balls. Cover in chocolate candy coating and decorate with licorice, raspberry candy and sprinkles. Visit  Paula Deen’s Recipes to learn how! (NOT recommended for those who are Arachnophobic)

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Spaghetti and Eyeballs Perfect meal for the little monsters ones any time of year. Make your own or visit parentingteens.about.com to get their recipe for Spaghetti and Meatballs. Use green olives stuffed with pimentos for the eyes.

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* updated Vampire Bloody Lollipops I know it’s after the fact, but I just came across these and had to add them. There’s next year, right? Head over to Tissuepapers and get step by step directions to make these delightful looking treats!

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I wrote this about 4 years ago and I just came across it. I’m not
even quite sure what inspired it, it was just kind of scribbled on
bits of paper. I did my best and pieced it together…I think.

I dreamed of him long ago…
as a little girl, as a young adult, as a woman
He was in my every thought, my every breath, my every being
A man, just one man who would love me unconditionally
He would adore the overbite I had grown so conscious of
He would laugh at the jokes no one else seemed to hear
He would take pride in walking by my side
knowing I could talk faster than I could walk

I dreamed of him long ago…
A man, just one man who would love me unconditionally
He would share the happiness life brought my way
He would share the joy of raising my kids
He would encourage me to seek my dreams, no longer just dream them

I dreamed of him long ago…
A man who could take the worst of times and
give me the courage I so desperately needed to carry on
A man who could dry my tears in the darkest of the night
hold my hand when I feel so alone
stand up for me when I’m down on my knees

I dreamed of him long ago…
as a little girl, as a young adult, as a woman
He was in my every thought, my every breath, my every being
A man, just one man who would love me unconditionally
I dreamed, I prayed to no avail…
There was no such man who walked this earth
I found love, conditional love
I longed for something, someone, that did not exist
My dreams remained that, dreams

I had lost the courage and strength to carry on
The hand I held in the darkest of the night
did not wipe the tears from my face
it was the weapon that caused them
When I was down on my knees
the only person left standing was the one who put me there
I was accepting, in my confusion I believed I had it all
Living the American dream of materialism
Never though, in those times of anguish
did I forget my dream
The dream I carried in my heart and soul all those years
A dream or fate…I will never know
Through good times and bad, I held on
to what little hope I had

His blood may not be as thick as yours
He may dance to a different beat
His eyes may not see as yours
For this is not your dream, it is mine (continue) .

This month marked a milestone for me, another year has come and gone. Yes, I celebrated my 6th anniversary of being 40! Last year I recapped how I spent my celebratory day, I’m digging deep this year and thought I would reflect on a few things I have learned or relearned throughout the year.

• Hot flashes are inevitable
• “Friends” aren’t always “friends”
• I like black nail polish
• Facebook and Twitter are addicting
• Cats don’t like to be vacuumed
• My sons never cease to amaze me
• A house is not a home without Froot Loops
• Huell Howser’s voice still gives me anxiety
• I can still do a cartwheel
• Don’t watch T.V. and pin something simultaneously
• I  am a little too attached to my camera and computer
• My mom had 5 grandkids at my age
• Just because it walks like a duck and talks like a duck,
doesn’t mean it is a duck.
• I love Kumkwats
• My dreams of being a singer are just an illusion
• My dreams of being able to even carry a note are just
an illusion
• Never look behind you when going down steps
• Everything happens for a reason
• I have a bulls-eye on my head only visible to birds
• If someone buys you Vicks when you have the
stomach flu, remember it’s the thought that counts
• I don’t like blue Lifesavers
• I like being plumified
• I have a low tolerance for close minded people
• Always check your shoes before leaving the house
• No matter how many times you fall out of the shower,
you won’t win. The floor is always going to be tougher
• Never compromise who you really are

It’s been said, the older you get, the wiser you become. If that’s true, I have a funny feeling this girl’s going to be around for a long time. Here’s to another year of insightful and profound learning experiences! Woot!

Without a doubt, raising kids is a tough job. It’s a 18+ year commitment to be the very best parent you can be, and as hard as we try, none of us are perfect. For the life of me though, I can not remember ever losing a kid in a “U.F.O.” and if I did I would still be in the looney bin my family would have rightfully so committed me to.
This was a perfect example that you really do need to be careful for what you wish for! The Balloon Family sought fame and boy did they achieve it! In hopes of picking up their own reality show, The Henne Clan did a national audition last week. Not only do Ma & Pa Henne suck as parents, their acting skills leave much to be desired as well! However if all goes well, they will be getting a consolation prize, complete with new orange spacesuits as security cameras follow their every move for the next 6 years or so. We pray. The offspring? We can only hope their future is filled with discipline, love and stability from non-storm chasing, honest, normal, earthlings. We pray. You know the parents are bad they try to  fool the the entire world into thinking that their six-year-old son is stuck in a U.F.O. balloon floating  amidst the Colorado air. The more that comes out about this family, one can only hope the damage the parents have done is  reversible.

“Not Pussified” is a homophobic rap video staring non other than the Heene Boys. A few of the lyrics; “…out on the road, we drop our pants and take a big load” “ I looked up in the tree and what did I see a faggot trying to pee on me.” “I hate gay faggots, I hit ‘em with a bat…” “…I like big trains I’ll run your ass over cuz I think you’re a pig” “that’s my mama with big white ass…..pay the cash”

Not wanting to be out done by Jr.x3 and in preparation for his
own stardom, dad also had a few songs up his sleeve…theme
songs for two potential reality based shows, “The Psyience Detective”
and “The Contractor” Because there is a God, networks passed, and we were spared.

This is a family with some serious issues.
Dad has a bit of history with both the law and his temper. •In 1984 he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon, a gun. He received three years probation. •In 1991 Henne was arrested for corporal injury on a spouse. It doesn’t appear he was convicted though. •In 1997 he rammed his truck into an ex-employees truck once, twice, three times. He then grabbed a wooden beam, held it over the guys head and told him to, “Get the f**k away.” He pled no contest to vandalism and in addition to spending four days in jail, he was sentenced to house arrest and ordered to pay $100.00 restitution. (He states he had been hit during the altercation, became incoherent was bullied by aliens and didn’t know what happened next.) •February 2009 the police were dispatched to a 911 hang up call at the Henne’s, the officer stated he could hear a man yelling at someone as he approached the door. After being greeted by Pa Henne, he went inside to speak to Mayumi, who had a mark on her cheek and broken blood vessels in her left eye. She said it was caused by a problem with a launch contact lens. I’m surprised we haven’t seen this fame whore on Cops.

Personal side note: I have mixed thoughts on Ma Henne, as much as she is just at fault for going along with this craziness, you can’t help but wonder what her life with Dick H. is like. Is she just as freaking insane or is she going through the motions out of pure fear?

It has been reported that last weeks performance hoax had been under production for the last few weeks, and a media outlet may have been in on it. An audition they will never forget, for sure-z! The Heene’s now face possible charges of conspiracy, attempting to influence a public servant, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and false reporting to authorities. They are also under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration. A wheat crop was also destroyed by emergency vehicles racing across the field to get to the balloon. The owners, who rely on this as their income said a crop (of wheat) is only produced once every 2 years, sadly they will now have to wait 2 more years. No word yet if they are considering legal options.

pssst…You can listen to the parents scripted frantic  911 call here. Maybe I’m over analyzing this…when Balloon dad calls for his wife to put her on the phone, it sounds like she was unaware he was talking to the 911 dispatcher and answers him with a clear, “yeah?” When she actually gets on the phone her tone has changed and she’s in hysterics. Boo. Hoo.

This is all just another example of what lengths one will go to in search of fame, fortune and the almighty dollar. Leaving behind a path of destruction of both financial and mental anguish, at least one positive thing may come out of this, given the right circumstances maybe these boys will have a chance. We pray.

PLEASE, if you hear any new developments or think of something I left out, write it down. I will have a cardboard box on my porch you can drop it in.

The following interview was posted on Fox News yesterday. It was a teensy weensy article, but boy did it speak volumes !!! LOL

Exclusive: Gretchen Rossi Bites Back at Former Friend

Gretchen Rossi recently told Tarts about her decision not to go under the knife in order to be a responsible role model and instead create The Gretchen Project to spotlight alternatives to plastic surgery, prompting her former friend Jay Photoglou to pretty much label her as a liar.
“I went with Gretchen to get Botox injections on at least on two occasions, one time I even had Botox injections,” Jay told RadarOnline.com on Friday.
“Gretchen went at least every six weeks to get Botox injection while I dated her. She also had photo facials done every two months to help get rid of her wrinkles.”
However it’s Rossi who is having the last laugh at her former flame, who she filed a restraining order against in March of this year although it was later dismissed by a judge.
“Everything this person states is false information, and just goes to show why I started the Gretchen Project. Botox and photo facials are alternative routes to going under the knife,” Rossi responded exclusively to Tarts. “Plastic surgery involves cutting, not fillers and laser treatments. He is a FAME WHORE!”

Where to start…
• 1st of all this article first refers to Jay Photoglou as her former friend, who has labeled her as a liar. A few lines down, Jay is referred to as her former flame, with whom she filed a Restraining Order against. So is it, friend? Or is it flame? Does this sound familiar? Reunion Show?
• 2nd Gretchen did not file a Restraining Order against Photoglou, she filed a Ex Parte Application for a Restraining Order. (An ex parte motion asks for a court order before the other party has an opportunity to be heard on your request. The need for an ex parte, order might exist in circumstances when: you have a good faith belief that your safety is in immediate danger, to take actions which will cause immediate or irreparable injury to you, or your property.) She was granted a Temporary Restraining Order, that was later dismissed with prejudice at a hearing. There is a big difference.
• 3rd Gretchen is then quoted as saying, “Everything this person states is false information…” Wow, that’s a pretty bold statement! Would that be considered Libel? I mean if you take into account, one of these two has a boat load of documents, emails, and pictures to back up his their story, and she the other one, well not so much!

• 4th Gretchen is quoted as saying, “Plastic surgery involves cutting, not fillers and laser treatments…” O.K. raise your hand if you think the person- Gretchen Rossi- who created the Gretchen Project- which spotlights alternatives to plastic surgery …should have an understanding what plastic surgery is? Fillers and laser treatment ARE plastic surgery. Invasive procedures are when cutting of a patient’s tissues or closure of a previously sustained wound is involved.  Minimally invasive procedure is any procedure (surgical or otherwise) that is less invasive than open surgery used for the same purpose. Non-invasive surgery refers to an excision that does not penetrate the structure being excised. (So…in other words, The American Society of Plastic Surgeons, say yes, Botox, Photofacials, Laser treatments and Fillers ARE PLASTIC SURGERY)

Yeah, somebody might want to study up on that…just saying. As far as Ms. Rossi having the last laugh, I highly doubt that. There’s not much that can top this!!!
LOL, O.K. we can all put our hands down now…

When contacted yesterday to do this interview for Radar Online, Jay Photoglou was bothered by the fact that the article done the day prior in the O.C. Register had made reference to Gretchen Rossi obtaining a Restraining Order against him. This reference had also been made in a few other O.C. Register articles. As Radar Online states at the end of this story, there was a Temporary Restraining Order issued, not a Restraining Order, there is a big difference! The Temporary Restraining Order was later Dismissed With Prejudice in May of this year.

The pictures shown in this article were taken on Valentines Day 2008. This would further shown Gretchen and Jay were in a relationship even before Gretchen was approached to do The Real Housewives Of Orange County. Gretchen had proclaimed that she was engaged to Jeff Beitzel…so why was it she did not even get an “engagement ring” until June?

Apparently Gretchen Rossi loves red, and it’s a damn good thing…because I’m sure she’s going to be seeing a lot of it!! Wowzers!

EXCLUSIVE: Ex-Boyfriend Says Gretchen Rossi Lied About Plastic Surgery And Reveals Her Sexy Pictures

An ex-boyfriend is calling out Gretchen Rossi after the star of The Real Housewives of Orange County said she’s all natural and has never had plastic surgery.

And Jay Photoglou also laughs at her claims that she wants to be a role model. He provided RadarOnline.com with some exclusive photographs of Gretchen bowling in sexy lingerie!

Rossi says she’s just started The Gretchen Project to find help others find “alternative ways to maintain everlasting beauty without having to go under the knife.”

Radar Online has the full scoop….(did I say Wowzers yet??)

No way is Gretchen Rossi a role model, implant-free or not

‘EXAMPLE TO YOUNG GIRLS’??

Gretchen Rossi makes me want to cry.

The alternative would be to break out laughing at this recent comment that last season’s newcomer to “Real Housewives of Orange County” made to Fox News

“It is hard to stay strong and not go under the knife because I am surrounded by it. … I can only hope it sets an example to young girls that you don’t have to have plastic surgery to feel beautiful and confident.”

Read the article in it’s entirety at
The Orange County Register
you know you want to!
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My baby turned 23 this week and this Mama’s a hot mess! Really. Clearly, this can only mean one thing, I am no longer a Spring Chicken. It wasn’t that long ago, in fact it seems like yesterday I celebrated my 26th Birthday (yep, I have a kid that age too) with my son’s at Las Brisas in Laguna Beach.  Where. Did. All. The. Years. Go?

I guess it’s time to put my big girl panties on and accept I’m old as dirt my age. I need to learn to embrace each and every gray hair, wrinkle, pound, hot flash, memory lapse, wrinkle, hot flash, memory la…. It is just a number anyways, right? Right?
As for my birthday boy, may you have a wonderful year and many, many more to follow. And dude…enjoy your youth because in a few years, you too will be wondering- Where. Did. All. The. Years. Go?
I love you!!!