Once upon a time a girl named Heidi had bugs…no wait, she made bugs. Not your typical pesky bugs but cute, lovable bugs. She made a lot, it was very therapeutic for her. She hand painted each and every one with her bare hands. Then life got crazy and Heidi had to put them in the ‘Bug Vault’ for awhile. Now as life settles down, the bugs are slowly creeping out, as cute and lovable as ever. Because there are so many and Heidi wants to make more, she will soon have to put them up for adoption. They are all named and for the most part well behaved. The Pot Pals live in potted plants, the Bug Mugs have magnets and are ideal for a refrigerators, etc…
The adoption fee is reasonable and a portion will go to an O.C.D. Foundation. Watch here for more details!!

I took this pic. in Arizona a few months ago, err I mean in Spring! Loved the soft colors!!!

My Grandpuppies. The next best thing to Grandbabies!!!
I simply cannot get enough of these two…
….you can see why!!!

if you have not read the previous chapters of my big, thick book click here…if you have, you are good to go!

Who Am I?Pay close attention to the bold words…see if you can figure out who’s concert I went to!!!!
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Whatever.
I can share this one time, just between you and me!
So, get this. I was in Sin City for a concert, (o.k…I am a Parrot Head)
I spent the day by the hotel pool, evenly tanned in my micro bikini.) I had a couple Margaritas –maybe more- It was a nice, Sunny Afternoon and luckily the pool sported two water slides. A whoop-dee-do one and a whoa-that-was-scary one. There were kids of all ages enjoying every little bump, curve and drop. Then there was me and some friends, Fruitcakes who had consumed a couple Margaritas –maybe more- right behind those kids. I think at one point there were more adults than kids. But after a couple Margaritas –maybe more- it’s hard to say.
After our thrilling adventure by the pool, it was time to unwind our evenly tanned bodies and get a nap in before the concert. Bare in mind mine was a voluntary nap, unlike others who at this point had had too many Margaritas, whoop-dee-do’s, whoa-that-was-scary, bumps, curves and drops. They just plain, passed out.
It’s time to go to the concert. We head out for a Cheeseburger In Paradise and then to Margaritaville for Boat Drinks. Finally…we prepare to move our Fins to the Left and Fins to the Right.
I had on a cute, (really cute, I think I got it on sale at Nordstrom’s) black sundress and some trendy, little, black, strappy sandals. (Those were really cute too; I can’t remember where I got those. I do remember though they were a slightly darker shade than the dress. It’s so hard to match blacks just right, you know what I mean? Oh my gosh, whites are the same way. One time, I was getting…hmm….never mind.) Again, I was also evenly tanned.
Who cares you ask? Hell if I know, but it could solve this on going mystery.
As we approached the concert, anticipating the beat of Six String Music. We are preceded by Uncle John’s Band, so you could probably imagine the line is pretty long! Since we are true Parrot Heads and have bonafied tickets, we decide to walk around….they can’t give our seats away!
A friend suggests, Why Don’t We Get Drunk, hello???!!! We already are. Silly friend. So we head out and about Sin City, me in my cute, really cute, black sundress and some trendy, little, black, strappy sandals. Shortly thereafter, I was approached with a request for my autograph.
Me!!
It then started a chain reaction (O.K. 2 people total, maybe a link verses a chain!) I graciously obliged and like a pro scribbled my John Hancock. This, I think made my drunk friends jealous…I didn’t really care, it was all about me for those 32.822 seconds. If you ever see this for sale on ebay, grab you a copy, it is sure to be worth a pretty penny.
So who am I? I dunno, perhaps they thought I was Delaney

if you have not read the previous chapters of my big, thick book click here …if you have, you are good to go!

Toy Story

It had been a wonderful day. Weather was great, work had been productive…best of all, it was Friday. The weekends were always great. Every other one was spent with my sons, usually at the hockey rink. (They rock!!) Other weekends were spent with my friends. (I have more in real life than I do on myspace.
This one particular Friday night I was hanging out with a friend of mine, we always had fun together. Still unsure what our plans for the evening were, we dressed semi-casual in fashionable jeans and cute shirts that gently hugged our curves. (I think her shirt was much cuter but that was o.k. I had the curves she was lacking in that much cuter shirt!)
We were both single moms so we felt we deserved a night out on the town every now and then. This particular Friday night we…no, she had an idea.
“Lets go shopping.”
“Oh.” I said, “For what?”
“Stuff.”
She has got to be flippin’ kidding me. I did not get all fancied up in my fashionable jeans and cute shirts that gently hugged my curves to go to Ralphs. What could she possibly need tonight? Shampoo, to wash out all that goop she used in her hair to get that ‘just rolled out of bed’ look? Oatmeal, to eat in the morning to soothe her potential hangover? Maybe she didn’t want to go to Ralphs at all, maybe she wanted to go to a mall. Maybe she was jealous of my curves and wanted to get an even cuter shirt!
“What kind of stuff?” I asked with much hesitation.
“Toys.”
Oh, great….that’s even worse.
“You want to go to Toys-R-Us?” I asked
“No silly, toys…TOYS!”
“Ummm, for who?”
“Me!”
O.K. I am completely oblivious to where this conversation is going. What kind of toy does she need? Can’t she do this on her own time?
Toys…TOYS, oh dear God am I slow!
“Are you game?” (no pun intended)
“Ummm, where?” As I envision a dark seedy looking shack with a dark, velvet curtain that shields you as you enter. One that would have a perverted looking sales clerk, lurking at your every move.
“Trust me,” she says
Now as hesitant as I am, I am now also very curious and intrigued by her sleeze ball idea. So off we went on our adventure!
We arrived at a little shopping mall, all the stores looked decent and very well lit. Good sign! We got out of our car and made it to the entrance…alive. Another good sign! We walked in to what I would describe as the Nordstroms of ‘toy’ stores. It was very tastefully decorated. Sales clerks were dressed pretty reserved…considering.
“She wants a toy!” I immediately informed the first person I encountered, who by the way did not even work there.
“Nice” she replied as she looked at me with much confusion.
As my friend continued her shopping adventure, I wandered around in the “R” section. (Maybe R+) They had pretty, little nighties. Some interesting lotions, oh and handcuffs (?) Those must be for the customers that get out of control….oh dear God, please let my friend behave herself!!
She soon caught up with me in the “R+” section.
“Got IT”
“O.k., good,” as my face turned redder than any boa in there. I had minimum curiosity about what IT actually was.
We safely made it back to her car, me, my friend and IT. We then decided to hit a local hot-spot, (no pun intended) have a few appetizers, cocktails and shake our groove thang!! As usual we ran into a few friends, a few acquaintances and made a few new friends. We were having so much fun, I had forgotten about IT! We danced into the wee morning hours.
So, now it’s time to leave the local hot-spot. Of course being two girls in fashionable jeans and cute shirts that gently hugged our curves we could not chance walking out to the car alone, so a few of our new and old friends offered to walk us out! What nice friends we have!
We all made our way out to the sparsly filled parking lot and found our way to the car.
It was late and I was anxious to get home and get a good night sleep. My friend was anxious to get home too, probably for different reasons though, she had a new friend, she had IT!
We said our good-byes, chit-chatted and laughed some but now I’m getting irritated. Enough is enough, I am tired and all I want to do is take my fashionable jeans and cute shirt that gently hugged my curves off, put my jammies on and sleep! I decided that maybe if I get in the car (I was riding shot-gun) they would all get the hint, including my friend and we could leave.
I said my good-byes to my irritating friends, old and new, and opened the door to climb in. What happened next could not have happened the way it did even if it was orchrastrated. Not in a million years. Not Ever. Something Criss Angel could never pull off. It was as if it happened in slow motion. O h . . . n o ! ! . . . k e r – p l u n k. . . w h a t . . . t h e . . . f r e a k . . . s h o o t . . . m e . . . n o w ! !
Some how, some way, when I opened the door IT fell out…on to the ground. Oh IT didn’t just fall out in a decieving brown bag or a cute little shopping bag. IT flippin’ fell out of the bag. IT was just laying in full view of everyone, in the group, in the parking lot, in the world. My friend did not miss a beat,
“Heidi, oh my gosh, aren’t you embarrassed?” as she laughed hysterically.
Ummm…embarrassed, no, horrified, yes!!!

In a matter of seconds you will realize I truly have no life.
I love Froot-Loops, dry, right out of the box. I’ve recently discovered, the generic version, ‘Fruit and Frosted O’s’ (hence, the title of this post) I must admit, I think they are just as good….and a good, fruited loop is not easy to find.
Anyways, today I was watching T.V., popping one loop after another. It was commercial, I was bored so I thought I would glance at the box and see what the secret is behind these frosted treats. It was then I came across this little word game on the back of the box. Remember “Ad-Libs”? Where you, (without reading the story) fill in the blanks with Nouns, Adjectives, etc… Then you read it back and laugh hysterically. Well I didn’t laugh hysterically, but I did humor myself by playing this little game. Here’s what I ended up with:
Told you!