(I apologize for the lame formatting of this post. WordPress is not cooperating with me right now!)

I wasn’t surprised. It was all making sense to me now. I have been feeling under the weather for about a week now, I was pretty sure I was close to death…a few times. You see, I had this mysterious, even gigantic bite on my hand. I was sure whatever had bit me was poisonous. I lay dying a slow death. After about the sixth day I was determined to determine my fate one way or another. I stagger out of bed whoa-is-me and begin the search for this deadly monster. I had already determined, through my research this was not just a bug, not just a spider. It was a brown recluse spider. It’s just a matter of time, bless my soul. I walked (staggered) out back to retrace my daily routine. Hammer in one hand. Perfume in the other (I had no bug spray). That’s when I saw it, it was bigger than life and he was staring right at me. Being the photo bug (no pun intended) I am, I decide I should take a picture of this monster, perhaps it would be beneficial for my autopsy. I must hurry and do this before I smash it to smithereens and spray it with my good perfume I just got at Big Lots!!! I put my super duper lens on my camera so there would be no need for me to get too close, one more bite I could be gone within hours…maybe minutes. Be brave Heidi, be brave. Got it!! Yahoo, perhaps if they get me and the monster to the venom E.R. show guy, I would have a chance. I see no other spiders around so I know….I know this was the one.
I decide to take a quick glance at the monster on my big screen (laptop) I guess I needed closure. Well wasn’t I surprised to find, “the monster” was nothing more than a dead spider carcass! To be completely honest with you I was a bit upset. Where did this this mysterious, even gigantic bite on my hand come from and why the slow, agonizing death? Time to reevaluate the situation. Could the bite be from, say….a mosquito or something. It could. Could I just have a tad of the flu and I am not really dying. I could. I guess only time will tell, but I have to tell ya, I am ‘almost’ miraculously feeling better.

So I decide to push my luck a little and go for an evening stroll. (Honey, if I’m gonna die, I’m gonna have camera in hand!) Now I’m a bit confused…again. The skies were just beautiful. Were the Heavens rejoicing my speedy recovery, or was the the light you see at the end? I decide, for the moment, to stop over analyzing the situation and enjoy it.
I mean you can’t really die from a half-way decomposed spider bite, right? Well, you know me…..I’ll be sure to keep you updated!