It has been 48 days since my Aunt Bobbie passed away, yet the reality of it it still unfathomable. I often find myself picking up the phone to call her, or making a mental note about something I need to tell her. I miss her laugh, her words of wisdom. I miss talking to her, I miss her.

I sat with her for a few hours, alone, just before she passed away. I laughed, I cried. I told her it was o.k. to go, I threatened she better not leave me. I talked and talked and talked (as usual)…she listened, (as usual) occasionally squeezing my hand or just giving me a simple sigh, letting me know she was present in the conversation.

I don’t remember exactly what I did or didn’t say, but I know there was, and never will be enough time or words to say everything I wanted…or needed to say. A few things I may…or may not have forgotten…

• I am sorry for draining your phone battery nearly every time we talked.

• I will miss my $5.00 gift certificates to McDonalds in my birthday card each year.

• Thank you for being my babysitter, my aunt and my friend.

• I will never forgive you for making me eat the fat on my steak.

• I am sorry for not telling anyone you ran out of gas on that hot, summer day when you called for help.

• Thank you for not beating me with that stick you had in your hand when you had to walk home…on that hot, summer day.

• I forgive you for giving me 2 left gloves for Christmas.

• I confess, it was me that hid the hominy in the milk…I didn’t want to eat it!!!

• Thank you for always standing by my side through the years.

• I will always treasure the night, not long ago, we tried on all your favorite hats…and laughed so hard we almost peed our pants. You gave me your favorite one!

• I will never forgive you for reintroducing me to Spice Drops. I eat them excessively…

• Thank you for giving me 5 fantastic cousins!

• Thank you for teaching me the difference between a meat grinder and an apple peeler.

• I forgive you for giving me the ugliest fabric pin and earrings I have ever seen.

• Thank you for letting me “practice” cutting your hair.

• Thank you for letting me “practice” cutting your hair a 2nd time.

• I will think of you every time I’m having a bad day and spray on my “Phuket” body spray. I will include an extra spay each time..for you.

• Thank you for all the Deviled Egg plates. One can never have too many.

• I will never forgive you for making me search every floor of the hospital for your keys, only for you to tell me an hour later you found them…in your bra.

• I miss being able to cry on your shoulder.

• Thank you for slipping me what was probably your last $40.00 under the Thanksgiving dinner table, because you knew the position I was in.

• I’m sorry I told Randy to run from you when he was in trouble.

• I’m sorry I told Randy the “Music Man” was really the “Ice Cream Man.”

• I will never understand why your purse weighed more than I did.

• Thank you for being such a good sister to my mom.

• Thank you for leaving us all with such a precious and beautiful gift…your legacy.

• I will always remember you for your giant, gentle heart, your compassion for all. Your ability to forgive, your infectious laugh, your words of wisdom, your inspiration. I will remember your never ending strength, your Waldorf Salad that I hated, your patience, trust and endless love. I will always remember you for being the best aunt I could have asked for, the best friend I could turn to and the incredible woman that you were.

I will always remember you. Thank you for the memories.
I’m sorry, forgive me and I confess.

I love you!!