I really hate to sulk about things so trivial, but 2 recent incidents left me wondering what today’s definition of Customer Service is.
I walk in to a well known, nationwide drugstore. I want Diet Coke a simple 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke….this is my drug of choice. I will be the first to admit it. Hi, my name is Heidi and I’m a Diet Cokeaholic. (applause from other addicts) Simple request. I reach Melissa’s check stand, I am the only one in line. Apparently my addiction is the least of her worries. Scope is on sale. After she acknowledges my presence with a grunt like sound, she turns her rude self around and leans against the register, her backside is now facing me. A co-worker, lets say her name is Phoebe, informs her she has already grabbed her bottles of ‘on sale’ Scope.
“I want some” Melissa informs Phoebe
“Have you ever tried it…is it spicy?” (s-p-i-c-y??)
“Oh no, just the cinnamon flavor.”
Hello…my name is Heidi and I’m a Diet Cokeaholic, I need my Diet Coke!
I clear my throat hoping, just hoping to draw her attention to me.
“Are you kidding!” Phoebe exclaims, “Mints are too spicy (wtf?) for me.”
I am now on the ground, my heart barely beating, I become nauseous as my body breaks out into a cold sweat.
Melissa finally turns around catching a glimpse of my near lifeless body. She rudely interrupts my moaning with,
“Yes?”
In a barely audible voice I plead, “Ring me up, Melissa, ring me up!”
Melissa asks Phoebe to grab her 2 bottles of Scope, regular flavor. She rings me up and I’m on my way.
Next stop, a well known, nationwide drive-thru burger joint. ( I have already downed 1/2 my Diet Coke by now. Hi, my name is Heidi and I’m a Diet Cokeaholic) I am with my boyfriend, we order 3 grilled cheese….(burgers w/out the meat)…1 chocolate shake and an order of onion rings to share. I am not a fan of onion rings, but I just happened to be craving them this particular evening. There is absolutely nobody else there so this should be a piece of cake. I double check to make sure Melissa is not behind the counter but because we are still sitting at the order speaker in the empty line waiting, I can not see. It’s been a good 5 minutes. I hear coyotes howling as a tumble weed brushes by the car. Finally…
“Can I help you?” a voice interrupts the still of the night.
We place our order and pull forward. Another tumbleweed blows by, I am beginning to realize why…just why we are the only customers at this joint. I make eye contact with the lady behind the counter, it’s not Melissa. We are given the chocolate shake and money is exchanged, good sign! We sit and wait and wait and wait for the rest of our food. We decide it is the onion rings that is holding up our order. We discuss the whole scenario, they must be picking our onion just for us. The perfect one. They must now clean and cut that perfect onion. They now must make a fresh batter mix dip our rings and fry them to perfection. We are still waiting but our anticipation for that perfect ring out weighs our impatience! The last of the chocolate shake has turned to chocolate milk. There has been no contact with the lady behind the counter, I believe she is on the phone somewhere talking to Melissa. Just as I was about to die of starvation, wa-la…food is served. No I’m sorry for the wait, thank-you, got to hell….but the food is served!
Gimmmmeeee, gimmmmmeeee some of those perfectly prepared onion rings. About a block away I reach into the bag. At first I thought they had comped us another shake for the wait but it was our burgers. Ice cold. Yum! I dig deeper to our perfectly fried rings. All four of them were equally as cold, burnt and hard. Oh hell no!!! We make a U-turn and head back to demand our perfect onion rings. After a half-ass apology we are presented with a bag of four new onion rings.
So as we head home with our 1/2 drank bottle of 2 liter diet coke, our empty chocolate shake container, our cold burgers and 4 onion rings we discuss what Customer Service really is…..the definition reads: assistance and other resources that a company provides to the people who buy or use its products or services
Perhaps I one day I will take a copy of this to Melissa and her friend from the burger joint, one day when I have a lot of time!