Via text message:
D- “I have cramps so bad, I feel like I’m gonna die.”
H- “Put some frozen ground beef on your tummy.”
D- “Nobody should go through life without a friend like you.”

Perhaps she is relieved we can laugh about it now, and we are both alive to do so.
She is one of the best friends I have ever had and I absolutely love my mini-vacations to visit her in Ventura. My last visit was memorable in more ways than one.
We had spent the evening doing ‘girl’ things…painting our nails, eating, talking, laughing, crying, etc… We eventually fell asleep, safely watching t.v.
She awoke a few hours later with a toothache…
“Anbesol, use some Anbesol” I mumbled between snores.
After fumbling around for a few minutes, she informed me she couldn’t find anything she thought would work. Afraid of missing anymore ZZZZ’s I told her to get an ice pack, (2 ice packs…just let me sleep)
“It always works for me” I lied.
Evidently the coldness was adequate, at least long enough for her to fall back asleep.
What seemed like just a few hours later, the sun began piercing through her bedroom window just enough to slightly bring me out of the coma I had fallen back in to. I lay there with my eyes closed anticipating my morning walk to the beach. I had dolphins to see and couldn’t think of a better way to start my day. I decide if I got up sooner than later, I would make it back in time to see her off to work. I slowly open one eyeball at a time and roll over to take a quick glance at the clock. Beside me lies a puddle of blood. Oh dear God, what have I done now? I remember the fine print on my Ambien, the warning. I remember the stories I had heard of people sleep walking, driving, etc…
Had I unconsciously killed my best friend? I am now in panic mode.
“D” I asked, “you alive?”
After opening her eyes, we both lay there in shock.
“Uh-huh, you?”
“Yep”
Her t-shirt was soaked, as were the sheets and her pillow case.
“You o.k?” I ask
“I think so, you?”
Now I am wondering, am I o.k? Perhaps one of us was bleeding to death and were too numb from the loss of blood to realize it. It had to be her, after all, it was her pillow and t-shirt that were soiled.
“Don’t move” I warn her, “I am going to stand up”
Left leg, check.
Right leg, check.
I am now in an upright position and I’m o.k., Hallelujah!
(*note to self: reconsider the Ambien thing)
Not to get too excited, my friend after all is laying next to a puddle of blood. I bravely walk around to her side of the bed. Not too sure what to do next, we decide she should try to get up as well.
Left leg, check.
Right leg, check.
She is now in an upright position and she’s o.k., Hallelujah!
So no we both stand, upright, alive and confused. We decide to slowly disassemble the bedding, one piece at a time….th, th, that’s when we saw it. Imagine the horror/relief we felt when we discovered the “ice pack” she had grabbed in the middle of the night turned out to be a pound of frozen ground beef that had now thawed out.
As disgusting as it was, we laughed so hard we nearly peed our pants. We might have! She made me promise I would never tell anyone, I’m her best friend I wouldn’t do that! I have a feeling we’ll be friends forever, after all, we have been through so much together. If we could survive a ‘bloody toothache’ together, we can get through anything! Love you D!