While at the store the other day, surrounded by people, I happen to glance down and notice I have two different shoes on…thongs…flip-flops. Whatever, at that very moment it didn’t matter what they were, they were different colors and I am sure I am not the only one who noticed. Now had I been with a friend, it may not have been such an issue, it could have even been funny…you know alleviating the embarrassment. Do I just go on with my shopping? Point it out to everyone I see and laugh about it, so they are laughing with me and not at me? Or do I just leave? I’m pretty sure if I were to look up, I would see a lot of pointing and whispering going on. I text my mom;
Me: I am shopping and just noticed I have 2 different flip-flops on
Mom: It sounds like you need to find the “help” aisle
Me: It’s not funny, do you know how embarrassed I am?
Mom: You should be used to it by now
Mom: Only you…only you!
I made it home partial dignity still intact and made a note to myself not to take anything for granted. For example; just because you have two shoes on, it doesn’t mean they’re a pair!! I guess that’s something my mom failed to instill in me…which brings me to the following.
I am not sure when or where I got this but it’s classic, funny and something I’m sure many can relate to!! Enjoy!

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all those peas are gone.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand”

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”