I gave my first PC to my Aunt Bobbie when I decided to upgrade. She was ecstatic. The first…and only lesson didn’t go so well, panic set in when I mentioned a mouse. Once she was brave enough to touch and click it, she was done for the day. She squealed in delight as she created movement on the little computer T.V. (a.k.a. monitor) and was now a self proclaimed computer genius. There may or may not have been a few issues that followed.
“Heidi, you know that ding sound the computer makes?”
“Uh-huh”
“Mines not dinging.”
After a little troubleshooting via the phone, I replied…
“Maybe what you’re doing isn’t dingable.”
“Oh it’s dingable” she assured me.
“Okaayyy…your volume is up, right?”
“Yeah, should I plug the speakers back in?”
In my most composed, computer literate voice, I gently said,
“Aunt Bobbie, I’m afraid you need professional help.”
She advised me a few days later she had signed up for real computer classes. Whether she quit them or was kicked out…I don’t know, but the mouse, the little computer T.V., and the speakers remained untouched thereafter. It was then she informed me she didn’t need a computer…
I could just read her everything.
From the very first entry until the day she died, my Aunt Bobbie was the biggest fan of this website. She loved to hear my stories, she loved me to read her my poems. She literally cherished everything I wrote. Her enthusiasm, encouragement and persistence motivated me…to be a better person…to embrace what I had, accept what I didn’t. She helped me find the humor in situations I didn’t think I could get through. “Write through it, I’ll call you tomorrow so you can read it to me.” Embarrassing moments …funny moments…”Write about it…I’ll call you tomorrow so you can read it to me.” Without fail, she would call. She shared my laughter, she shared my pain. She got it…she got me, she was my biggest fan.
I had shared with her an incident a few weeks prior to her death, she could not wait for me to write about it…for me to read it to her. Almost 2 years ago to the minute, I lay in bed realizing I had not yet read it to her. I printed a copy and headed to the hospital. With a cousin sleeping on the couch and her peacefully resting in her bed, I quietly read what would be the last of many stories she had encouraged me to write, I Slept With My Sugar Daddy. (I did inform her of the risk I was taking, “this has to be quiet and fast or they will admit ME as a 5150″)
She died a few hours later.
So did a part of me.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her, that I don’t miss her. She inspired me, she motivated me, she believed in me.
She was my biggest fan.
Address In The Stars I stumbled across your picture today I could barely breath The moment stopped me cold, Grabbed me like a thief. I dialed your number, but you wouldn’t be there I knew the whole time, but it’s still not fair I just wanted to hear your voice, I just needed to hear your voice.
What do I do with all I need to say So much I wanna tell you everyday Oh it breaks my heart, I cry these tears in the dark I write these letters to you, But they get lost in the blue, ‘Cause there’s no address in the stars.
Now I’m drivin’ Through the pitch black dark I’m screaming at the sky Oh cause it hurts so bad Everybody tells me Oh all I need is time Then the mornin’ rolls in And it hits me again And that ain’t nothin’ but a lie.
What do I do with all I need to say So much I wanna tell you everyday Oh it breaks my heart, I cry these tears in the dark I write these letters to you, But they get lost in the blue, ‘Cause there’s no address in the stars.
Without you here with me, I don’t know what to do. I’d give anything Just to talk to you Oh it breaks my heart, Oh it breaks my heart, All I can do Is write these letters to you, But there’s no address in the stars.
had a really good visit with mom this morning.intruced her to the boys for the first time.had a good cry that she couldn’t play with them.love lots and missing you even more. love you youngest son.
My Gramma touched so many of our hearts. I always felt her pain when she was ill, literally. Sometimes would have to call her and ask why my chest, my knees, or my kidneys were hurting. She would tell me what the dr had said, but proceed to tell me it wasnt hurting her. I was happy to take the burden of her pain. I know you are paying me back by carrying my pain I feel today. I miss you so much Gramma. Our family is growing, but there will always be a missing piece.
April 15th, 2012 at 9:39 am
Made me laugh made me cry. How many times have I thought I need to call Bobbie and tell her. I too miss her so.
April 15th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
had a really good visit with mom this morning.intruced her to the boys for the first time.had a good cry that she couldn’t play with them.love lots and missing you even more. love you youngest son.
April 15th, 2012 at 1:08 pm
My Gramma touched so many of our hearts. I always felt her pain when she was ill, literally. Sometimes would have to call her and ask why my chest, my knees, or my kidneys were hurting. She would tell me what the dr had said, but proceed to tell me it wasnt hurting her. I was happy to take the burden of her pain. I know you are paying me back by carrying my pain I feel today. I miss you so much Gramma. Our family is growing, but there will always be a missing piece.