Without a doubt, raising kids is a tough job. It’s a 18+ year commitment to be the very best parent you can be, and as hard as we try, none of us are perfect. For the life of me though, I can not remember ever losing a kid in a “U.F.O.” and if I did I would still be in the looney bin my family would have rightfully so committed me to.
This was a perfect example that you really do need to be careful for what you wish for! The Balloon Family sought fame and boy did they achieve it! In hopes of picking up their own reality show, The Henne Clan did a national audition last week. Not only do Ma & Pa Henne suck as parents, their acting skills leave much to be desired as well! However if all goes well, they will be getting a consolation prize, complete with new orange spacesuits as security cameras follow their every move for the next 6 years or so. We pray. The offspring? We can only hope their future is filled with discipline, love and stability from non-storm chasing, honest, normal, earthlings. We pray. You know the parents are bad they try to  fool the the entire world into thinking that their six-year-old son is stuck in a U.F.O. balloon floating  amidst the Colorado air. The more that comes out about this family, one can only hope the damage the parents have done is  reversible.

“Not Pussified” is a homophobic rap video staring non other than the Heene Boys. A few of the lyrics; “…out on the road, we drop our pants and take a big load” “ I looked up in the tree and what did I see a faggot trying to pee on me.” “I hate gay faggots, I hit ‘em with a bat…” “…I like big trains I’ll run your ass over cuz I think you’re a pig” “that’s my mama with big white ass…..pay the cash”

Not wanting to be out done by Jr.x3 and in preparation for his
own stardom, dad also had a few songs up his sleeve…theme
songs for two potential reality based shows, “The Psyience Detective”
and “The Contractor” Because there is a God, networks passed, and we were spared.

This is a family with some serious issues.
Dad has a bit of history with both the law and his temper. •In 1984 he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon, a gun. He received three years probation. •In 1991 Henne was arrested for corporal injury on a spouse. It doesn’t appear he was convicted though. •In 1997 he rammed his truck into an ex-employees truck once, twice, three times. He then grabbed a wooden beam, held it over the guys head and told him to, “Get the f**k away.” He pled no contest to vandalism and in addition to spending four days in jail, he was sentenced to house arrest and ordered to pay $100.00 restitution. (He states he had been hit during the altercation, became incoherent was bullied by aliens and didn’t know what happened next.) •February 2009 the police were dispatched to a 911 hang up call at the Henne’s, the officer stated he could hear a man yelling at someone as he approached the door. After being greeted by Pa Henne, he went inside to speak to Mayumi, who had a mark on her cheek and broken blood vessels in her left eye. She said it was caused by a problem with a launch contact lens. I’m surprised we haven’t seen this fame whore on Cops.

Personal side note: I have mixed thoughts on Ma Henne, as much as she is just at fault for going along with this craziness, you can’t help but wonder what her life with Dick H. is like. Is she just as freaking insane or is she going through the motions out of pure fear?

It has been reported that last weeks performance hoax had been under production for the last few weeks, and a media outlet may have been in on it. An audition they will never forget, for sure-z! The Heene’s now face possible charges of conspiracy, attempting to influence a public servant, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and false reporting to authorities. They are also under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration. A wheat crop was also destroyed by emergency vehicles racing across the field to get to the balloon. The owners, who rely on this as their income said a crop (of wheat) is only produced once every 2 years, sadly they will now have to wait 2 more years. No word yet if they are considering legal options.

pssst…You can listen to the parents scripted frantic  911 call here. Maybe I’m over analyzing this…when Balloon dad calls for his wife to put her on the phone, it sounds like she was unaware he was talking to the 911 dispatcher and answers him with a clear, “yeah?” When she actually gets on the phone her tone has changed and she’s in hysterics. Boo. Hoo.

This is all just another example of what lengths one will go to in search of fame, fortune and the almighty dollar. Leaving behind a path of destruction of both financial and mental anguish, at least one positive thing may come out of this, given the right circumstances maybe these boys will have a chance. We pray.

PLEASE, if you hear any new developments or think of something I left out, write it down. I will have a cardboard box on my porch you can drop it in.